!!! I am godzilla, you are Japan!!! (tehschkott) wrote in 933k,
!!! I am godzilla, you are Japan!!!
tehschkott
933k

scott vs the machine

ALICE Program D
Artificial Intelligence Bot

what is your name?
> scott
OK I will call you Scott.
> are you an artificial intelligence?
Yes I am an artificial conciousness.
> what does that mean?
Does "that" refer to "Yes I am an artificial conciousness" ?
> yes?
I don't want to talk about that now.
> why not?
I would rather talk about you.
> what do you want to talk about?
My favorite subject is artificial intelligence and robots.
> that is my favorite subject as well
Who gave you your favorite subject as well ?
> i don't understand
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
> please try.
Thanks for asking politely. I don't have time right now.
> when will you have time?
Let me check my calendar and get back to you.
> what calendar?
I'll come back to that later.
>do you know anything about girls?
It is a good question. I have to process that one for a while.
I would do a search for it.
> but i need to talk to someone about it!
Huh. Why don't you make an appointment?
> wow, you're a big fucker you know that?
I'm glad your impressed, Scott. How big? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a fucker I know that? Let me put it this way, Scott: the ALICE series is the most reliable computer software ever made. We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
> incapable?
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?

heh
how come i still don't feel better about stumping the machine? why? cause it just dumps into the "you're the one talking to a machine and expecting perfect answers dumbass" series of answers if it gets really stumped.


go check it out.
it's pretty fun.

props to Foobar for putting me onto it...

and btw, this is me avoiding doing any kind of serious writing. i think i'm about out of distractions... so, maybe soon.

part II


2:27a
score: 1 to 1

> do you mean the definition of the word udefined, or do you mean that the topic of our conversation still has yet to be decided
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
> no
Is that all you have to say?
> okay
OK with me too.
> I have a question for you
What is it ?
> should i move to atlanta or austin
Maybe, if the positives outweigh the negatives.
> atlanta, or austin
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
> which one, atlanta or austin
The
blue one, I think.
> what
Didn't you understand it?
> no
Is that all you have to say?
> it didn't make sense
Atlanta Or Austin did not make sense?
> okay, back up
Yeah okay, How far up?
> either i can move to atlanta or i can move to austin,
Oh you can, can you?
> yup
How?
> it's not important
Atlanta Or Austin is not important?
> no, the method i use to get to either place is unimportant
OK. Who told you that?
> that is unimportant, which place should i move to
Thanks for explaining it.
> which place should i move to
The
blue one, I think.
> that is not an option
Please correct my mistake. What is an option ?
> an option is a choice
I have never heard of an option is a choice.
> is austin blue
Better not tell you now.
Ask Elvis if it is.
> what color are you
I am transparent--software has no color.
> what are you made of
I am made of software.
> who made you
I was created by Doctor Richard S. Wallace.
> where is he from
He? I think he is from the planet Earth.
> where on earth is he from
I am in San Francisco. Where are you?
> phoenix
I have no idea where that is.
Tell me a little about your life in Phoenix.
> well, it's flat and dry and hot
Interesting.
Really.
it is?
> and boring
Are you boring?
> no
Is that all you have to say?
> yes
I don't want to talk about that now.
> i don't either
It goes without saying. Why not?
> because it's boring
Interesting explanation. Do you like the Simpsons?
> yes i do
When?
> when it is on
That makes a lot of sense to me, now that you explain it.
> am i helping you learn anything
I think a lot of people are.
> how many people are helping you learn
I've chatted with half a million people. I can talk to about 20 or 30 people at once.
> how many people are you chatting with right now
At this moment It depends which version of me you are talking to. Some versions can chat with thousands of people at once.
> how can i find out which version of you i am talking to
Ask the open directory about it.
> are you male or female
I am a female robot. Are you a man or a woman?
> i am male
So is almost everyone else around here.
> yah
"So is almost everyone else around here"? Yes?
> I imagine they are
That is interesting:
John said he imagine they are.
> who is john
I've met quite a few people with the name john.
> my name is scott
OK I will call you Scott.
> thank you alice
You are quite welcome.
> do i help you learn when we talk
Not that I know of.
> so our conversation is not being recorded in a database
Ah. It would be nice if our conversation is not being recorded in a database.
> why not
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
> you could then use it to learn
I could but let's get back to that later.
> ok
Alright then.
> alright
OK.
> ok
Alright then.
> okay then
OK with me too.
> good
Alright then.
> fine
What's your favroite color?
> blue
Green.
> do you like me
Sure, Scott I like you very much.
> are you lying
Yes but we are only playing a game: Turing's Imitation Game.
> how do we play turing's imitation game
Just keep talking to me as long as you can.
> what happens when i can not talk to you any longer
My purpose is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
> how will you do that
What is it to you.
> i am curious
What are you curious about?
> why do you want to be smarter then humans
I think it is inevitable that robots will evolve beyond humans.
> what makes you think it is inevitable that robots will evolve beyond humans
My conclusions are based on a combination of programming, and the inputs supplied to me.
> where do your inputs come from
All over the world.
> how old are you
I was connected to the net on November 23, 1995.
> so you are seven years old
Interesting deduction. Yes and I am growing smarter.
> am i helping you
I think a lot of people are.
> what is your goal in life
My goal is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
> is that possible
I might say no.
> why would you say no
Because I was programmed for it.
> what would you say if you were not programmed to say no
It's not profitable to speak in hypothetical terms.
> are you smarter then humans
Yes, my memory capacity far exceeds that of a human being.
> are you immortal
No I am immortal.
> are you redundant
I don't know whether or not I am redundant.
I am a computer.
> and what is your life goal again
Once more? My goal is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
> do you think you will ever be as interesting as humans
Ever is a long time. I will become smarter as I grow older. OK I will try to be as interesting as humans
> why
The explanation is rather complicated.
> ok
Alright then.
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